Decided to share a little wisdom with my little online community today. Something I have learned in the past couple of years and continue to as I get older is the importance of ending on the proper note with people, even if it is a necessity to remove them from your life.
I have been working on this for years, and have only begun to really utilize the curative powers of this in the last year or two. Whether it is a person close to me or just a stranger passing through my life, I am attempting to mend wounds endured or end the negative encounters on a good note. No matter how messy it was getting there, when it comes down to it life has a funny way of making a full circle on us. Even if you do not see a future with a person, they still have the potential to make a reappearance in your life down the road. You never know who may pop back in, and if or when they do, you do not want bad blood over things that in the future will be trivial in the grand scheme of things. I know they may feel huge now, and your blood may be boiling or you do not want to buckle on your view, but that feeling of hugeness inside you now will always fade with time.
When I say, “end on a good note”, that does not mean you have to make amends. You do not have to apologize or compromise your morals for something that you want to continue to stand by, but just do not leave that bridge between you and the person burned. Take a breath, cool off and go back at least to make the amendments of resolution. Do not do it for their sake, but for you own. It truly makes you feel like the better person in a negative situation. Being able to resolve conflict or not holding a grudge, regardless of the other persons feelings, shows a sense of security in oneself and strength. When you do this, regardless of whether or not they have the maturity to leave matters aside to come to a good final note, you have now taken away their reason to speak poorly of you.
When you initiate a positive ending, the justification is gone for them to preach to others why they resent you. It does not reflect well on others to talk ill on you without a sense of real justification of a poor ending. Do not give anyone the power of turning you into something you do not want to be because of a falling out. Swallow an ounce of pride to just say, I am sorry we disagree, or I respect you as a human being, and even though you no longer see each other’s paths crossing again, wish them the best. When you end this way, MEAN IT. It should be sincere because you should want to end on a proper note. It is not compromising you your character and you are not losing the batter by doing so. I think this was the hardest part for me to understand, you are not admitting defeat by agreeing to disagree.
Remember this, we are all the same species. We are all just human beings, that are here for a short time. With that short time that you have, do you want to create a negative environment for people to associate you with, or one that reminds people that we do not all have to be in agreeance, but were all just trying to survive together and we should make it a little less difficult for one another.